grazie signore

[this is where i would say something about me not blogging for 6 months, if i cared about it anymore. but...i don't. just a place to offer when i have something to offer :)]

so, i find myself with a bit of free time these days. been without a full-time job for over three months, and while i have mostly been anxious [bc of money] and sad [because i love my career and want to be doing it full time!] about this fact, i think that being in this unexpected period of transition for the amount of time i've been in it has helped me accept and live into its blessings. thank God! for time to read and write and sing and move slow.

in fact, i have gotten so bold as to take on 5 books at one time. just finished the lion, the witch and the wardrobe again...love that story. i also still have bookmarks in the book of God (the bible in novel form - awesome!), st. augustine's confessions, all creatures great and small by herriot, and new seeds of contemplation by merton (solely becuase i refuse to read the last chapter...i am savoring that book as long as i can :).

i also just finally picked up the ragamuffin gospel by brennan manning. my friend sam has been telling me to read it since sophomore year of high school. i remember there was a book i kept telling him to read and we were going to switch, but now i can't quite remember what that was...oh well. so i am just now picking it up after noticing it on the shelf of some mission year folks' house in our community. so far it's been a beautiful, simple read through the good promises of God, that has been a bit disorganized for me at times, but i recently came to a chapter that just hit me so good. entitled "grazie, signore".

i think there are a lot of fine lines to address in this relationship and life with Christ. i am well-aware that so often i know something, or believe it with my head, in theory, but don't live out of that belief when it comes down to it.

one of these lines that seems so fuzzy at times is how i react and respond to God's grace. there are moments (not enough!) where i am drawn to my knees, so aware of my weakness and my need for help. and within those moments i am sad, and i am so sorry, and i am so grateful that i am loved anyways and that Good is still working in this world despite (and even still because of) what i do. and i begin dreaming of a life lived perfectly, dreaming of how beautiful and pleasing it might be if i could just get past these oh so prevalent deaths - dishonesty, or unfaithfulness, or disrespect, or whatever. i hope and pray and wish and want so badly to commit to a life where i am able to "get past" these things. if only i could just control myself in those moments!

the heart of these things is good and true and right, and we are often at work with God, with whom we are in a relationship. but the vision is still not in its fullest. God's grace on my life is exactly that - God's. and this response of dreaming about what i can do to "control myself" - it misses, though subtly, the point. instead of a desire to commi to trying to be kind to everyone i meet, or being faithful in prayer, or counting to five before i speak when i'm angry -- our response should begin with a commitment to constantly and faithfully accepting God's grace over our life. "The moment the focus of your life shifts from your badness to his goodness and the question becomes not 'what have i done?' but 'what can he do?' release from remorse can happen, miracle of miracles, you can forgive yourself because you are forgiven, accept yourself because you are accepted..." even while i am able to see and know this is most important, my response in its genuineness goes slightly awry...

manning's description of our response to Christ's unrelenting mercy includes 1) an unconventional decision (action to bring about the kingdom); 2) trust; and 3) heartfelt gratitude. today i am focused on trust:

"More pleasing to me than all your prayers, works and penances is that you would believe I love you."

God asks us to accept the abounding grace and love that God offers - that is key! when we do that fully, then we are free - to be taught how to act with wisdom, and to get caught up in what is truly essential; to trust the mercy and the will of a God who loves us before we have even desired it (out of the illusion we are lacking it); and to extend our gratitude to Jesus, through a "deep and delicate respect for one another" ("for insofar as you did this to one of the least of these brothers or sisters of mine, you did it to me" - Matt 25:40).

i pray that this gospel of grace is what becomes most real to us each day...that we may seek to understand more than to be understood, to love more than to be loved, even to forgive more than to be forgiven. always with the confidence and assurance that God's unconditional love and mercy is there to accept.

and i hope you are doing well! peace friends

morning person

i wish that i could be

a girl who wakes with ease;

i'd run and find

the sun to blind

the sleep right out of me.

WTF?!?!

it's snowing?!?!!!!
crazy. i wasn't excited at first, but everyone acts like a kid around here when it snows. kinda fun :)

p.s. it's going to be in the 70's on tuesday.

bear belly

So it has been awhile, my friends. Sorry I am just now updating you on -- Halloween?!?!

Well, it was an amazing holiday, to say the least. At work, they have a theme every year that all the employees (mainly therapy staff) derive their costumes from, and compete in a costume contest. This year the theme was breakfast cereals. Strange, yes, but also allows for quite a bit of creativity.

Now, I thought about it for awhile...contemplating ideas such as Kix, by going around and kicking my foot in the air all the time, or Pops by "popping" around. But when it really came down to it, I just wanted to be what I was for Halloween two years ago - a bear. Being a bear was just so much fun...it was comfortable (i wore sweats and a sweatshirt), i got to growl at people, and the bear hat i borrowed was just plain sweet. Not to mention that was the year that another guy dressed as a bear showed up to the party, fuzzy paws and overalls at that. His name was Ehren (he subsequently came to be known as "Behren"), and this fantastic moment of bear meets bear was captured on camera:

Anyways, it turns out there is ONE cereal that has a bear as its mascot. Pardon me, there was one cereal. GoldenCrisp, you may remember, used to be called Sugar Crisp and the mascot was Sugar Bear. Not only did Sugar Bear eat/promote SugarSmacks cereal, but he actually had his own cartoon series for awhile. He was a very laid back character who lounged under trees and sang and played banjo all day. So...I was Sugar Bear! I music therapized for an entire day of work in this outfit, pushing my cart full of musical instruments with my new bear mask on. I didn't win the costume competition, but it was SO worth it. The best part about it all was that everyone, all day referred to me as SugarBear - I'm pretty sure this is one of the best nicknames ever.. So enjoyable!

California Raisins. This is a weird outfit.

Froot Loops! They danced a lot, it was fantastic.

The entire Fruity Pebbles Gang

So that was Friday. On Saturday, Katie and I went to a Halloween party hosted by our friends Scott and Hannah. It was a blast! Great food, great beer, great people. Great costumes, too...one creative fella sported a pig's snout and wings and called himself the SwineFlu. We had the PC and Mac ppl, an African momma, a Whataburger guy, Little Orphan Annie. Katie was the Achievement Gap (ooohhh, those teacher jokes), and I just went as a regular bear this time. It's really easy to be funny when you're dressed as a bear, I've found. The thing said to me the most that night was: "Wait wait --- put your mask on and do that again!" followed by bouts of laughter. Oh, being a bear.

bear!

Katie's costume

Jeremy and Audra

At one point in the evening, we spent about 3o minutes taking pictures of each other's faces while they were shaking their head violently back and forth (so that your lips get all loosey goosey). I must say, it creates some amazing photos. Enjoy.

til next time.
peace,
kate

pumpkin weekend!

so last week/weekend was a blast. we celebrated katie's 27th birthday on wednesday, by going out to dinner at a new restaurant, the raven grill, which was by far the best meal we've had in houston so far, and then out to see waterdeep in concert at ecclesia (the church we've been becoming part of here). the food was local, the music was familiar, the strawberry shortcake afterwards was superb (if i do say so myself)...it was a pretty great day.

on friday night, we lazed a bit (a common trend at the end of the work week), and then went out for coffee with our friend audra and her friend. it was perfectly cool outside, and the conversation was great. U2 concerts apparently are fantastic and i hope to maybe see one in my lifetime now.

saturday, our friend cori came into town from austin to help celebrate katie's birthday and...Pumpkin Day! so, while katie was at a Teach For America training/workshop thing, cori and i started on the baking. i decided this year to bake the pumpkin halves one at a time, instead of skinning it, chopping it up, and boiling the flesh, which is a lot of work. it worked perfectly - the skin just sort of peels off after its done baking (almost leathery-looking...we talked about next year's recipe being pumpkin shoes). over the course of evening, we packed between 12 and 15 people in our tiny apartment, and relished in the glory of pumpkin treats (or maybe that was just me, and everyone else just ate). the food was amazing, and we tried a few new recipes this year, as always:

-pumpkin empanadas (a mexican pastry, not too sweet)
-pumpkin soup
-pumpkin fries - these did not turn out. though, i think if we had gotten the oil hotter, they totally would have. next year!
-pumpkin pie
-pumpkin (wasserman) squares, with cream cheese icing

our friends also brought:
-pumpkin brownies (!!! neat!)
-pumpkin mousse pie (like french silk, but more like pumpkin pie taste. it was incredible)

and there was plenty of pumpkin beer, of course.

overall, it was a successful evening. there was an impromptu pumpkin toss outside our front door that left a scattering of seeds that is still decorating the breezeway sidewalk. this also led to the creation of two pumpkin hats :) and we didn't sing to katie or anything (i kind of get lost in pumpkin day), but it was still a special night for one primary reason. this was the first party of more than two people that we have hosted in houston, and it was really normalizing. parties were something our friend group in lawrence did a lot...sometimes too often...like having a party for the color green (which was amazing...people thought it was an environmental party, but it wasn't). i think hosting is something that katie and i both enjoy, and to finally feel like we have the friends that will come if we plan it - that feels great.

happy pumpkin day to all, and to all a good night.

and yes, i cooked a pumpkin this big. jk

(plug: if you want to partake in some of this amazingness...come to houston for thanksgiving!)

the parents weekend

two weeks ago (again...i keep getting behind!) my parents came to texas! i took thursday and friday off of work and drove to meet them in lovely corpus christi. it was glorious - amazing weather, plenty of great seafood, a look at the water again, and just some good fun with my mom and dad.

so my parents were there because they are getting overly excited about retirement :) and want to live on a boat down south during the winters (when it is cold in the mountains), and live at our cabin in new mexico during the summers. they have found a boat they are fond of in california, but are still looking for the right marina to dock their boat in and call home. there can really be great community in marinas with other people living on their boats, when you find the right one. so, that was their quest.

we stayed in a microtel (genius idea, so cheap) near rockport, texas, a tiny sea town with a small, artsy, downtown shopping strip and some local restaurants. not much more than that, though! it is within 30 minutes of corpus, and there are several other small neighboring towns that create a sense of larger community even with the small town feel.

it was a fun weekend. nice and quiet. looked at some art and interesting shops, and basically consumed our evenings with appetizer/cocktail hour at the hotel, followed by some amazing shrimp dinners (coconut fried shrimp with plum sauce and sweet potato fries??? umm...yes please) - still don't understand how i was tested positive for shrimp allergies. don't even care :)

the sky was being neat on the drive there

first glimpse of the ocean

my parents

at a nearby marina and restaurant

again, just for amanda

after some time in corpus, my dad had to get on an airplane to go back to work, but my mom drove back with me to spend saturday and sunday in houston. it was so great to get to show her where i am living and working, and for katie and i to get a mom for a couple days :) we grilled out, went out for an early birthday breakfast for katie, and spent the afternoon at church and in hermann park (a giant city park near the med center). it was the most perfect weather since we've been in houston, and an amazing weekend.

i love my parents.
then end.
kate

the camping weekend

it's been a couple of weeks since i posted (surprise, surprise), and in order to catch up, i will be completing a series of posts, updating you on my past few weekends. you might call it the weekend updates.

the week after i went to austin, katie and i continued to think about adventure. all week we talked about going camping over the weekend. when friday finally arrived, it was the coldest day we've had in houston yet (45 degrees, kansans. read it and weep)...rainy and just all around miserable. but, we decided to go anyways. we drove an hour north to huntsville state park and spent the oh-so-cold :) night at a surprisingly nice campground, fit with trails, lake access, restrooms WITH toilet paper, and screened shelters that you could pitch your tent in. while there were some crazy children screaming and beating on trees in the morning, and apparently a lot of alligators (signs warning us to not feed them were all over the park. and, at 9:30 in the morning, we heard some man say, "oh, i gotta jump in the shower before the alligator thing." wtf??!!), it was mostly quaint and peaceful. we got to the campgrounds late at night, drank some wine*, and slept. we took a nice hike in the morning around part of lake, and then took an afternoon nap before heading back to houston**. glorious!

*notable story #1: when i say wine, what i really mean is a lot of different drinks. when katie and i started packing up a cooler for our camping trip on thursday night, we ended up with a cooler chock-full of liquids...kombucha, beer, wine, soda, water, coffee, and hot chocolate. i don't know what to say, we love our liquids. no joke, we almost forgot to pack food.

**and #2: on the way back to houston, we decided it was the perfect day for a really hearty breakfast. i was craving biscuits. so, we iphoned the nearest local diner (alice's, in conroe, for those of you who care). now, i was expecting some filthy, kitchen grease kind of place, like waffle house for instance (so good!). and this place looked like it on the outside. it was located on some inconspicuous corner of an obviously unpopular strip mall. it had a banner hanging on its outside wall that not only said "Alice's Diner," but had giant pictures of their food on it as well. the inside, though, was a whole different story. it had carpet. it had paintings. and wooden shelving. and an aquarium. it was also spotless (i guess it was at this point we noticed no one else was in the restaurant). a few further steps in, and we got to their counter seating near the kitchen, that did not have bar stools, no no, but eight full-on, heavy duty, rolly, swivel office chairs. amazing. we sat down (at a booth, thank you), turned on katie's ipod (as there was no music playing in the restaurant - kind of awkward?), and ate a fantastic breakfast. thank you, alice, in every way.