WTF?!?!

it's snowing?!?!!!!
crazy. i wasn't excited at first, but everyone acts like a kid around here when it snows. kinda fun :)

p.s. it's going to be in the 70's on tuesday.

bear belly

So it has been awhile, my friends. Sorry I am just now updating you on -- Halloween?!?!

Well, it was an amazing holiday, to say the least. At work, they have a theme every year that all the employees (mainly therapy staff) derive their costumes from, and compete in a costume contest. This year the theme was breakfast cereals. Strange, yes, but also allows for quite a bit of creativity.

Now, I thought about it for awhile...contemplating ideas such as Kix, by going around and kicking my foot in the air all the time, or Pops by "popping" around. But when it really came down to it, I just wanted to be what I was for Halloween two years ago - a bear. Being a bear was just so much fun...it was comfortable (i wore sweats and a sweatshirt), i got to growl at people, and the bear hat i borrowed was just plain sweet. Not to mention that was the year that another guy dressed as a bear showed up to the party, fuzzy paws and overalls at that. His name was Ehren (he subsequently came to be known as "Behren"), and this fantastic moment of bear meets bear was captured on camera:

Anyways, it turns out there is ONE cereal that has a bear as its mascot. Pardon me, there was one cereal. GoldenCrisp, you may remember, used to be called Sugar Crisp and the mascot was Sugar Bear. Not only did Sugar Bear eat/promote SugarSmacks cereal, but he actually had his own cartoon series for awhile. He was a very laid back character who lounged under trees and sang and played banjo all day. So...I was Sugar Bear! I music therapized for an entire day of work in this outfit, pushing my cart full of musical instruments with my new bear mask on. I didn't win the costume competition, but it was SO worth it. The best part about it all was that everyone, all day referred to me as SugarBear - I'm pretty sure this is one of the best nicknames ever.. So enjoyable!

California Raisins. This is a weird outfit.

Froot Loops! They danced a lot, it was fantastic.

The entire Fruity Pebbles Gang

So that was Friday. On Saturday, Katie and I went to a Halloween party hosted by our friends Scott and Hannah. It was a blast! Great food, great beer, great people. Great costumes, too...one creative fella sported a pig's snout and wings and called himself the SwineFlu. We had the PC and Mac ppl, an African momma, a Whataburger guy, Little Orphan Annie. Katie was the Achievement Gap (ooohhh, those teacher jokes), and I just went as a regular bear this time. It's really easy to be funny when you're dressed as a bear, I've found. The thing said to me the most that night was: "Wait wait --- put your mask on and do that again!" followed by bouts of laughter. Oh, being a bear.

bear!

Katie's costume

Jeremy and Audra

At one point in the evening, we spent about 3o minutes taking pictures of each other's faces while they were shaking their head violently back and forth (so that your lips get all loosey goosey). I must say, it creates some amazing photos. Enjoy.

til next time.
peace,
kate

pumpkin weekend!

so last week/weekend was a blast. we celebrated katie's 27th birthday on wednesday, by going out to dinner at a new restaurant, the raven grill, which was by far the best meal we've had in houston so far, and then out to see waterdeep in concert at ecclesia (the church we've been becoming part of here). the food was local, the music was familiar, the strawberry shortcake afterwards was superb (if i do say so myself)...it was a pretty great day.

on friday night, we lazed a bit (a common trend at the end of the work week), and then went out for coffee with our friend audra and her friend. it was perfectly cool outside, and the conversation was great. U2 concerts apparently are fantastic and i hope to maybe see one in my lifetime now.

saturday, our friend cori came into town from austin to help celebrate katie's birthday and...Pumpkin Day! so, while katie was at a Teach For America training/workshop thing, cori and i started on the baking. i decided this year to bake the pumpkin halves one at a time, instead of skinning it, chopping it up, and boiling the flesh, which is a lot of work. it worked perfectly - the skin just sort of peels off after its done baking (almost leathery-looking...we talked about next year's recipe being pumpkin shoes). over the course of evening, we packed between 12 and 15 people in our tiny apartment, and relished in the glory of pumpkin treats (or maybe that was just me, and everyone else just ate). the food was amazing, and we tried a few new recipes this year, as always:

-pumpkin empanadas (a mexican pastry, not too sweet)
-pumpkin soup
-pumpkin fries - these did not turn out. though, i think if we had gotten the oil hotter, they totally would have. next year!
-pumpkin pie
-pumpkin (wasserman) squares, with cream cheese icing

our friends also brought:
-pumpkin brownies (!!! neat!)
-pumpkin mousse pie (like french silk, but more like pumpkin pie taste. it was incredible)

and there was plenty of pumpkin beer, of course.

overall, it was a successful evening. there was an impromptu pumpkin toss outside our front door that left a scattering of seeds that is still decorating the breezeway sidewalk. this also led to the creation of two pumpkin hats :) and we didn't sing to katie or anything (i kind of get lost in pumpkin day), but it was still a special night for one primary reason. this was the first party of more than two people that we have hosted in houston, and it was really normalizing. parties were something our friend group in lawrence did a lot...sometimes too often...like having a party for the color green (which was amazing...people thought it was an environmental party, but it wasn't). i think hosting is something that katie and i both enjoy, and to finally feel like we have the friends that will come if we plan it - that feels great.

happy pumpkin day to all, and to all a good night.

and yes, i cooked a pumpkin this big. jk

(plug: if you want to partake in some of this amazingness...come to houston for thanksgiving!)

the parents weekend

two weeks ago (again...i keep getting behind!) my parents came to texas! i took thursday and friday off of work and drove to meet them in lovely corpus christi. it was glorious - amazing weather, plenty of great seafood, a look at the water again, and just some good fun with my mom and dad.

so my parents were there because they are getting overly excited about retirement :) and want to live on a boat down south during the winters (when it is cold in the mountains), and live at our cabin in new mexico during the summers. they have found a boat they are fond of in california, but are still looking for the right marina to dock their boat in and call home. there can really be great community in marinas with other people living on their boats, when you find the right one. so, that was their quest.

we stayed in a microtel (genius idea, so cheap) near rockport, texas, a tiny sea town with a small, artsy, downtown shopping strip and some local restaurants. not much more than that, though! it is within 30 minutes of corpus, and there are several other small neighboring towns that create a sense of larger community even with the small town feel.

it was a fun weekend. nice and quiet. looked at some art and interesting shops, and basically consumed our evenings with appetizer/cocktail hour at the hotel, followed by some amazing shrimp dinners (coconut fried shrimp with plum sauce and sweet potato fries??? umm...yes please) - still don't understand how i was tested positive for shrimp allergies. don't even care :)

the sky was being neat on the drive there

first glimpse of the ocean

my parents

at a nearby marina and restaurant

again, just for amanda

after some time in corpus, my dad had to get on an airplane to go back to work, but my mom drove back with me to spend saturday and sunday in houston. it was so great to get to show her where i am living and working, and for katie and i to get a mom for a couple days :) we grilled out, went out for an early birthday breakfast for katie, and spent the afternoon at church and in hermann park (a giant city park near the med center). it was the most perfect weather since we've been in houston, and an amazing weekend.

i love my parents.
then end.
kate

the camping weekend

it's been a couple of weeks since i posted (surprise, surprise), and in order to catch up, i will be completing a series of posts, updating you on my past few weekends. you might call it the weekend updates.

the week after i went to austin, katie and i continued to think about adventure. all week we talked about going camping over the weekend. when friday finally arrived, it was the coldest day we've had in houston yet (45 degrees, kansans. read it and weep)...rainy and just all around miserable. but, we decided to go anyways. we drove an hour north to huntsville state park and spent the oh-so-cold :) night at a surprisingly nice campground, fit with trails, lake access, restrooms WITH toilet paper, and screened shelters that you could pitch your tent in. while there were some crazy children screaming and beating on trees in the morning, and apparently a lot of alligators (signs warning us to not feed them were all over the park. and, at 9:30 in the morning, we heard some man say, "oh, i gotta jump in the shower before the alligator thing." wtf??!!), it was mostly quaint and peaceful. we got to the campgrounds late at night, drank some wine*, and slept. we took a nice hike in the morning around part of lake, and then took an afternoon nap before heading back to houston**. glorious!

*notable story #1: when i say wine, what i really mean is a lot of different drinks. when katie and i started packing up a cooler for our camping trip on thursday night, we ended up with a cooler chock-full of liquids...kombucha, beer, wine, soda, water, coffee, and hot chocolate. i don't know what to say, we love our liquids. no joke, we almost forgot to pack food.

**and #2: on the way back to houston, we decided it was the perfect day for a really hearty breakfast. i was craving biscuits. so, we iphoned the nearest local diner (alice's, in conroe, for those of you who care). now, i was expecting some filthy, kitchen grease kind of place, like waffle house for instance (so good!). and this place looked like it on the outside. it was located on some inconspicuous corner of an obviously unpopular strip mall. it had a banner hanging on its outside wall that not only said "Alice's Diner," but had giant pictures of their food on it as well. the inside, though, was a whole different story. it had carpet. it had paintings. and wooden shelving. and an aquarium. it was also spotless (i guess it was at this point we noticed no one else was in the restaurant). a few further steps in, and we got to their counter seating near the kitchen, that did not have bar stools, no no, but eight full-on, heavy duty, rolly, swivel office chairs. amazing. we sat down (at a booth, thank you), turned on katie's ipod (as there was no music playing in the restaurant - kind of awkward?), and ate a fantastic breakfast. thank you, alice, in every way.

to austin and back

last weekend, i needed to get away. i haven't really left houston since i moved here (except for a quick trip halfway to dallas to see my dad for a few hours!! so great), and i needed an adventure, to change up the pace a little.

needless to say, it was AWESOME. my host, cori, friend from kansas who just moved to austin, was too wonderful. we got to hang out all weekend and do fun things. austin city limits (ACL), a giant annual music festival was happening that weekend, and we braved the crowds and the rain to check it out, even though we didn't have tickets. i've been wanting to go to the festival for so many years now, and while i was hoping to find some free/cheap passes, it was still worth it just to be near it and in the energy. i am definitely going next year.

cori and i

all the bikes locked up at the festival!!

on the left is a kid, holding a string, attached
to a dollar bill laying on the grass. on the
sidewalk are oncoming victims of the prank.
hilarious.

in the midst of it all, we got to eat out a couple times at some of my favorite places (magnolia for brunch, trudy's for dinner), shop a bit on congress street (cowboy boots!), and visit a local frozen banana stand that a girl i knew in high school started in austin. frozen bananas are ridiculously good.

i loved these boots. it surprised me, but i did. too bad they were $150

bananarchy

their best-seller is the afternoon delight.
my favorite name is the hippy dippy. hee hee

we also took an adventuresome bus-ride at 10pm into downtown to see a local artist, suzanna choffel, play. she is great - the white lauryn hill, in my opinion - and it was especially entertaining to watch some of the people dance:



dancing man (sorry, i can't rotate)

the stamp to get into the show. this picture is solely for amanda dieker.
we made them "meow" all evening.

last but not least, we visited the cathedral of junk, an incredible playground made entirely of donated crap, built in the creator's back yard. fun!






over the weekend i also got to see my friends kristen, jordan, and sarah. yay!


overall, it was a much needed getaway. i felt that it was an important trip for several reasons:

1) i followed through with a need i felt.
2) houston became a place that i came back to, which helps solidify its role as home right now.
3) God refreshed my soul with the rain, made me empassioned to embrace my youth again, gave me images and thoughts of new mexico and nickel creek, things that make me feel alive.

--a side note: last friday, in a group therapy session created to work on breath support and trunk control, we were dancing at the end of the session, and one of my patients, a 50-something-year-old wheelchair-bound man saw me moving my feet and said, "man, what i would give to be able to do that again." it really hit me hard. dancing is such a high - when you really free yourself and let yourself get into it, moving your body and feeling the rhythm, it feels so good. and to not be able to do that?? man. and i just don't take the opportunity to do it as much as i know my soul needs. i think of nicole, who loves to dance, and who makes that happen even just in the living room of her home. SO, that night i danced in my room by myself. and i plan on salsa dancing just as soon as i can find a dance partner.
anyways, i just felt encouraged to live into my youth - right now, and even at every age!

any other ideas for this project (besides dancing and walking in the rain) are welcome.

hope you all are well. and eating lots of pumpkin treats. like these.

music!

some rough recordings for the time being...though i spent ALL WEEKEND doing this. so much for being a good student :)

www.myspace.com/katewass

trying to make the moments last

"the avalanche" (listen to it with headphones, only!) by sufjan stevens is an important song to me. the album it is on came out while i was studying abroad in costa rica. and since i was old-schooling it for four months with a portable compact disc player, tyler sent the cd to me in the mail, just in time for me to take it on a bus trip with sara to puerto viejo on the east coast. it was a peaceful weekend, and a beautiful ride, largely because of the jungle passing me by, but also because of this song, which i fell in love with. consequently i listened to it a lot during my time in CR. now when i hear this song, i am reminded of the beauty i experienced there...in nature, with clouds and oceans and mountains and greens and flowers, and also in the moments when i felt deep Comfort, which were poignant and weighty during a semester that was much a solitary and piercing time.

"come on, stone, come on, star
come on, snow, come on, car
come on, hand, come on, feet
come on, face, come on, street
come on, state, come on, song
move it fast (take it up), move it along (the ohio river)
come on, life (take it up), come on, lord (take it ever)
make it right (to the mississippi), make it yours."

these days i am filled with deep, deep longings. my prayers seem endless...for my patients, for my family and my new nephew, for my purpose here, for new friends, for my community in lawrence, for my roommate, for my music, for the world and its people. and this is a difficult time in life right now...i am often reminded of my unworthiness, my weakness and humanity.

tonight, i got to sit outside by our pool and read by the light of my headlamp. there was a cool breeze that made it perfect shorts and t-shirt weather. and the sky above was covered in clouds...gray canopies under a black sky, the occasional star peeking out. listening to this song, among others, i was reminded of the simple beauty surrounding me, the gift, and of the comfort that rushes to my side when i am crying out. i felt like a child, imagining the stars winking at me, and telling God that i know You are with me. but my heart knows, feels no other Truth. and my prayers are easily continued with the song:

God, make it right; make it Yours.

there is so much Life around us...struggle and pain, weeping and questioning..victory and joy, singing and learning. would you make it all yours. would you help us live as those who have been brought from death to life, as those not under the law but under grace.

these moments help me remember. love to you all.

blog life does not represent real life.

so, a lot has happened since i last posted! time is definitely passing quickly...let's just really name it for what it is, though - i am just not great at blogging.

oh, well. there has been plenty going on in my life here to keep me busy. let's be organized about it, shall we?

new people:
so, since being here in houston, i've met quite a few people. at the beginning, i mostly met other teach for america people that katie knew from institute. it has been interesting getting to know them and hear about the craziness of inner city schools - and they are a fun bunch! particularly close are our neighbors, joe and brenan, who live in an apartment right across the parking lot. they are an amazing pair, so kind and warm, and i love when we get to share meals together every once in awhile. they are so easy to be around.

past that, it was really hard for awhile to find those social opportunities. i always knew it would be difficult out of college, but i just hadn't experienced it until now. plus, i have been part of an amazing community of friends for the past four years. however, it has slowly come our way, with some effort and some ease. katie and i have been attending worship services on sunday with a larger church called ecclesia, and trying out different small groups that happen during the week around town. one that we went to the past two weeks has felt the most like home for me so far. the first night we went, i found a people of whom many i immediately connected with and felt comfortable with. there is a structural element of these groups that has been different (in a hard way) than house church - namely that it is more bible study dialogue, and less prayer. for whatever reason, though, that was easier for me to get past with this group. i think that i have found some really cool people, and i have been joyously surprised to find that intimacy with others can happen rapidly - praise God! i am excited to see how these relationships further as katie and i get more settled into daily routines.

on top of that, i've made several attempts to throw myself into the music scene...whatever that means. i am just craving to play with others, for others, and to write more music. this is something i've needed...always wanted, for that matter. and, it's something i'm still figuring out. i got a last-minute opportunity to play at our saturday morning farmer's market a few weeks ago, and it was a blast - definitely felt like home (though with lots more sweating). i also played an open mike night with a hilarious group of middle-aged hippy musicians...i don't even need to tell you how amazing that was! haha. and though i didn't talk with derek webb when i saw him play a show (at ecclesia, for free!), i thought about it... right now, i just want to focus on writing more of my own stuff. i might even create a myspace sometime! oh goodness.

anyways, the blessings of new people abound, even if slowly. i am so grateful.

work:
speaking of new people, work is continually becoming a place where i feel comfortable, and particularly excited about the people i work with. my co-intern, marilyn, has been a huge blessing in just getting to experience the TIRR internship together. she is a riot. i also get to know more therapists, nurses, and staff each day, and love feeling solidarity and community with them. in particular there are two janitorial staff members that are the sole reason i am still getting the opportunity to speak spanish - i absolutely love them. and while i still experience some frustration with my supervision, i know that i am still learning a lot, and will be a good therapist when i leave.

a couple weeks into the internship, when things were still pretty hard, i decided it was time to start a practice of recounting the best parts of my day on my bus ride home. every few days or so now, i type into a notepad on my little ipod touch about blessings at work - big or small. most of them are about my patients, and the rapport i get to build with them, their personalities, their struggles and their gains. i have definitely felt the weight of my surroundings numerous times...for instance, this one 18 year old boy is still "locked in" [his body], meaning he is still not verbalizing much, though it's clear he is "in there" - when his personality gets to come out every so often in smiles and facial expressions. he got in a car accident, and is now rehabilitating all function - basic movement and strength, standing -for two minutes- without his blood pressure going whack, speaking/uttering noise, you name it. the thing is that his family is from louisiana, so they can only come visit him every other weekend. if i were in his place, i would definitely want my momma by my side every day! and, because of his limitations, he is not able to functionally socialize much with other peers in the hospital. i co-treat with speech therapy, trying to get him to functionally use a communication system or speak, but often i feel like my biggest service to him is just normalizing his environment - listening to li'l wayne and dancing goofy a little bit. anyways, his is just one of the many heartbreaking stories around me. but i cannot tell you how Glad i am, to get to be an advocate for them, to get to be part of their journey of healing. from an insider's perspective, it has been disheartening at times to realize that there are people within the hospital system that let their own issues get in the way of providing care that is in the best interest of the patient (but that's a story for another day)...i am sure there will be more as time passes! i love my patients.

old people:
not the elderly, but friends i already know and love from kansas! came and visited katie and i! last weekend! it was glorious, and SO needed.


(sorry, ker)

kerrie, nicole and jon drove (bless their hearts) 12 hours each way to stay with us for 3 days over the holiday. we ate great tex-mex, showed them the city and our respective work places, took them to the shops we frequent, swam/relaxed, and just enjoyed each other's company. it was a beautiful time, a purely Fun weekend, and even healing/rejuvinating in some ways. when they left, i felt a peace over my heart that i hadn't felt in awhile. thank you three for coming!

...

well, i think that's enough update for now. before i say nighty-night, i leave you with this thought: don't you think that the song "casimir pulaski day" by sufjan stevens is oddly reminiscent of the movie/book "a walk to remember" plotline(book by nicolas sparks, movie with mandy moore)??? man, 7th grade - i cried all four times i saw that movie. let me know your thoughts on this subject.

peace and love to you all.

the apartment!

i love our place. after a month of work on it (including a 2 week wait for our couch from IKEA - hate that place), it finally feels warm and home-y.

here's the room we share. my bed is the one that looks like a child's. kind of makes me feel small sometimes, but it works great, hah. notice the curtains we hung up, and the desk i made for myself on the right side :D

Here's the lovely living room - the homiest room, i think. Two couches, a red tapestry on one wall, a shelf we hung up on the other. AND, we have plants outside - basil, limes, peppers, mint(!)...so great.

Across from the living room - dining room and kitchen.

The kitchen! MAN, we have such a fully stocked kitchen. we could EASILY host community dinners here. if we had friends, haha :)

ok, well i don't know how to get this image to rotate, but this is my favorite cabinet of the kitchen. odd, i know, but it is so organized and match-y - a perfect example of our stocked-ness.

anyways, just a little tour of the place. feel free to visit us. you know you want to!

houston life: the job

SO -- just to clarify. i just moved to Houston, TX from Lawrence, KS in order to do my music therapy internship, which is required for my studies. i am working at TIRR (The Institute for Rehabilitation and Research) Memorial-Hermann Hospital, an inpatient rehab hospital within the Med Center for patients who have had Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI), Spinal Cord Injuries, Strokes, Amputations, or things of the sort. the patients i see every day may have deficits in motor skills, speech and language, and memory and orientation due to their injury and/or surgery. they all receive at least 3 hours of therapy - physical, occupational and speech-language - from a consistent therapist on a daily basis, and stay anywhere from a few weeks to a few years at the hospital. the music therapy department makes its own schedule, seeing whichever patients they determine during a given week, mostly in co-treat sessions with any of the above-listed therapists. right now, there are two music therapists on staff, and one other intern.

needless to say, it's been an intense three weeks already! there have been some joys about this internship, and some disappointments, but overall, it is music therapy, which means i love it. i was so eager to jump in there (even on day one) and work with patients. i love my patients; sometimes it is also very hard..most of their stories are just short of tragedies. but, it is truly amazing to see the strides they make on a daily basis.

so, just to describe what exactly it is that i am doing each day. i see anywhere from 2 to 10 patients in a day, ages adolescent to elderly, for half hour sessions each, typically. if i am treating in a physical or occupational therapy session, i am most often facilitating motor movement with any variety of instruments i have on my cart. for example, i might be playing guitar - typically a song that is preferred by the patient - to provide a rhythmic and/or spatial structure for upper and lower extremity movement (walking, reaching, bending, lifting, stretching, stepping, etc). another example is using the drums as a target to play - kicking it with their foot in a certain position, or reaching to play it with a mallet, across their midline, or at a certain distance away from them.

music therapy is a professional therapy because music affects the brain so uniquely - when you're participating in or listening to or making music, your whole brain is activated, not just a certain area - like the Broca's area for processing speech, for example. this means that a patient is often more engaged with therapy when the music is present, making progress more efficient. additionally, the rhythm of music is processed in the motor cortex of the brain, which means that a person can entrain to (or, follow) a beat without even really thinking about it. the brain's connection of rhythm and movement is a direct one, so it can bypass cognition (meaning that people with brain injuries, for example, can still process structure through music!). music therapy can also be used to elicit/improve speech, improve memory function, and decrease pain and anxiety (and these are just goals for the population I work with!). sometimes the addition of music to the therapeutic environment is immediate - one can see a significant change in the patient's progression towards therapeutic goals the moment the music is added - and sometimes music therapy works over a long period of training. anyways, this is why my profession exists - to know how music can be used therapeutically, and be able implement it uniquely with each individual patient. pretty sweet stuff.

so, that's my job. in the midst of treating, i am doing assessments, learning TONS of music (bah! texas country will be death of me. and hannah montana), and reading literature on my field and others (e.g. neuroscience). i am tired - getting used to the 40 hour work week, and being on my feet all that time. but it's getting better - i'm not napping at 5 every day anymore!

on a side note: i get to ride the bus to and from work every day, and i LOVE it. truly a joy during my work week, not only because it's air conditioned (unlike the public transportation in costa rica, por ejemplo), but it is peaceful, and there are cool people, and i enjoy listening to music and relaxing before and after my long day.

anyways, thanks for all your warm thoughts for me. come visit me if you want to know more about my wonderful profession! or just ask me, i guess. but visiting is much better :) love and peace

pray for me

love is patient
love is kind

love is not
envious
or boastful
or arrogant
or rude

love does not insist on
its own way

love is not irritable or resentful

love does not rejoice in wrongdoing,
but rejoices in
the truth

love bears all things

believes all things

hopes all things

endures all things

.

a belated goodbye

(I started this post over a month ago, and never finished it. But it's very pertinent tonight, especially, for me, and I need to finish what I have to say. Here goes.)

So, since I've only posted once in over three months, I guess it turns out blogging is harder than i thought. I've really had zero time since i started packing and saying my goodbyes to lawrence. it is hard to blog, but even harder to say goodbye to my home of four years. lawrence, i will miss you.

i have truly been blessed by my community there. it all started with the rock-a-hawk, the freshmen event at ku that brought me, nicole, and gibson together for the first time. from there, i met half of the manhattan high school class of '05 (not really, but the coolest 20 or so), and subsequently became Honorary Manhattanite (i will never, ever let that title go - keith and jeff). turns out they were all looking for a campus ministry, too, and so we stumbled upon ichthus, a revolutionary (at least to my Presbyterian, pastor-kid's mind) House Church that was seeking freedom of the holy spirit and intentional relationships - life together. since then it has been a crazy ride together and apart at different times, with new faces and old. it's been hard at times, and easy at others. my heart's been the fullest of joy, and seeped with grief, too. and what's most amazing to me is that such a dynamic group, one that is full of transient students and travelers, people coming and going, can still feel like my solid family. i love you people, more than i can even begin to express.

Needless to say, it's been a hard transition away from that. I know it's only been three weeks, and friends will come in time, blah blah, but it has been hard to not be frustrated. Solely because of the fact that those relationships I am literally craving right now, are impossible to instantly satisfy. They will take time. and it has been hard to get connected at this church, because those small intimate group meet-ups that we are checking out right now are only happening once a week. houston is a much bigger city than lawrence, and i can't say communal dinners are a 4-day-a-week thing here (yet)!

So i want to say (even if it's cliche): relish your community of close friends around you. you are blessed.

And (for the record): i do have hope for myself and for katie; really for anyone that's lonely. God doesn't abandon.

And (from my spirit): i love you all in lawrence. i miss you, and miss daily life together. i don't know when life together will happen again for us, but i want to say thank you for that which we have shared already. and while i do daydream about the beauty of the lawrence hills, the ku campus, the downtown coffee shops and maybe even miss the colder weather when it comes around (doubtful), it is really you people that are my home.


i'll hopefully be blogging more often. just got to get used to it. pictures to come...

actually, this is an especially funny post because i haven't told anyone that this blog exists yet :D
mass email: soon!

love,
kate

work in progress

"everyday is the same," he says to me
i leisurely stroll till i find the perfect shade of a tree
i eat what i want and i drink what i drink
put quite simply - it's boring me

the caterpillar faces me again with a glistening eye
"but you," he says, "you men must know how to fly
you race with your cars and you speed through your day
there's so much to do, it's no work and all play

how does it feel to keep your feet off the ground?
it must be fun to never have to slow down

never done this before.

tonight, i got inspired. not really inspired, just inspired to get inspired. thanks to the world wide web, i enjoyed the beauty of the world, alone in my room at midnight - looked at pictures of some friends getting engaged; read the words of a friends who has spent much of her time in africa, and is so thankful for God's grace; listened to a story on npr about an indian man who loves to sing bob dylan songs; learned about sufjan steven's name; heard about the struggle of a musician in releasing a controversial album...and more, getting lost in the connections that are addictive.

in my short lifetime, i already feel i have lost some...things. i don't know what to call it - personality traits, neuroanatomical access, parts of self. i just remember 5th grade being part of the "creative class," the g/t kids that were marked by their imagination. i feel like my creativity has definitely been part of my academic success, i have worked hard, etc. but tonight i don't feel like it comes easy lately. i don't draw anymore, really anything except the occasional tree in my journal; i don't write poetry anymore, don't take the time; it's always been hard for me to write songs, too perfectionist; and i just haven't been creating much outside of academia for a long time. earlier this evening, i was soaked in 30 rock for a few hours out of laze - which is definitely a good kind of mindlessness, don't get me wrong :)

my point - creation is different when there is felt purpose in it. i write in my journal often, but it is such a private practice, that i wonder if my wondering will look differently here, solely because of the fact that it is available to others for their reading enjoyment. maybe i won't be so lazy in dreaming, in naming my dreams, my gifts, the gifts given to those around me. maybe i will develop the gift in expressing my true self, and knowing that more as beloved daughter. hope for authenticity.

so, i secretly saw the beauty of life tonight - through other people, but by myself. i feel the freedom and desire to create this blog, to try to create again. i think this is a good start for tonight.