trying to make the moments last

"the avalanche" (listen to it with headphones, only!) by sufjan stevens is an important song to me. the album it is on came out while i was studying abroad in costa rica. and since i was old-schooling it for four months with a portable compact disc player, tyler sent the cd to me in the mail, just in time for me to take it on a bus trip with sara to puerto viejo on the east coast. it was a peaceful weekend, and a beautiful ride, largely because of the jungle passing me by, but also because of this song, which i fell in love with. consequently i listened to it a lot during my time in CR. now when i hear this song, i am reminded of the beauty i experienced there...in nature, with clouds and oceans and mountains and greens and flowers, and also in the moments when i felt deep Comfort, which were poignant and weighty during a semester that was much a solitary and piercing time.

"come on, stone, come on, star
come on, snow, come on, car
come on, hand, come on, feet
come on, face, come on, street
come on, state, come on, song
move it fast (take it up), move it along (the ohio river)
come on, life (take it up), come on, lord (take it ever)
make it right (to the mississippi), make it yours."

these days i am filled with deep, deep longings. my prayers seem endless...for my patients, for my family and my new nephew, for my purpose here, for new friends, for my community in lawrence, for my roommate, for my music, for the world and its people. and this is a difficult time in life right now...i am often reminded of my unworthiness, my weakness and humanity.

tonight, i got to sit outside by our pool and read by the light of my headlamp. there was a cool breeze that made it perfect shorts and t-shirt weather. and the sky above was covered in clouds...gray canopies under a black sky, the occasional star peeking out. listening to this song, among others, i was reminded of the simple beauty surrounding me, the gift, and of the comfort that rushes to my side when i am crying out. i felt like a child, imagining the stars winking at me, and telling God that i know You are with me. but my heart knows, feels no other Truth. and my prayers are easily continued with the song:

God, make it right; make it Yours.

there is so much Life around us...struggle and pain, weeping and questioning..victory and joy, singing and learning. would you make it all yours. would you help us live as those who have been brought from death to life, as those not under the law but under grace.

these moments help me remember. love to you all.